remember?

Each passing day, it seems to be a month not talking to her... so long i would thought but that's how its going to be. 

Today, my friend's birthday. I was reluctant to join them as it was a pretty expensive dinner. But knowing that the food was worth, why not? It isn't always I have such a feast. Sorry no photos. If u really want the photos find me on msn. Thats for friends of mine only who knows me. As I was eating it was fun... but it seems to bring back the past of dinners I had with her. Small dinner big ones, it was so beautiful with her. As we talked, they were talking about her too, my heart tore into pieces still I deny the break up by entertaining their teases. 

Being ignorant to what had happen 14 days ago and treating it as though she was still with me. Food's delicious. Thank God that I do have friends, noisy funny that are willing to talk funnily distracting me although they didn't know.

As I was on the bus, I was so tired. I could hardly move due to the 2 hours of badminton in the afternoon and long walk to the restaurant and back to the bus stop with a full stomach. So I couldn't help but to think back the times in the bus with her. We had so many bus rides, almost uncountable of various events and times of happiness together and an unforgetable event. Does she still remembers it when she sit the bus? or was she always overwhelm with her new found joy with her friends...? I couldn't go on thinking. I close my eyes hopefully to fall asleep.

Is it really over I wonder? where am I suppose to find such love and care from anyone else? Should I just give up? stop thinking anymore. The point is does she still love me? Why would I go on for her if she doesn't anymore. 

take care..