creAtive life

remember?

2008-10-18T20:30:00.002+08:00

Each passing day, it seems to be a month not talking to her... so long i would thought but that's how its going to be.

Today, my friend's birthday. I was reluctant to join them as it was a pretty expensive dinner. But knowing that the food was worth, why not? It isn't always I have such a feast. Sorry no photos. If u really want the photos find me on msn. Thats for friends of mine only who knows me. As I was eating it was fun... but it seems to bring back the past of dinners I had with her. Small dinner big ones, it was so beautiful with her. As we talked, they were talking about her too, my heart tore into pieces still I deny the break up by entertaining their teases.

Being ignorant to what had happen 14 days ago and treating it as though she was still with me. Food's delicious. Thank God that I do have friends, noisy funny that are willing to talk funnily distracting me although they didn't know.

As I was on the bus, I was so tired. I could hardly move due to the 2 hours of badminton in the afternoon and long walk to the restaurant and back to the bus stop with a full stomach. So I couldn't help but to think back the times in the bus with her. We had so many bus rides, almost uncountable of various events and times of happiness together and an unforgetable event. Does she still remembers it when she sit the bus? or was she always overwhelm with her new found joy with her friends...? I couldn't go on thinking. I close my eyes hopefully to fall asleep.

Is it really over I wonder? where am I suppose to find such love and care from anyone else? Should I just give up? stop thinking anymore. The point is does she still love me? Why would I go on for her if she doesn't anymore.

take care..

Change

2008-10-14T08:57:00.000+08:00

Today's a day for change. The Lord has changed my ways and He blesses me. I will wait upon His coming and learn His word and grow day by day.

For the one I love on earth let there be a miracle that love is restored, hurts be heal and those who hurt them be forgiven. For great is our God who love us and so am I to do so loving my brothers and sisters.

I have destroyed my relationship but I will live my life. For if she had love me, she'd chase me too and I would chase her after the day we graduate. Distance shall not be a path to destroy us but let Your love guide us to meet one day.

I have learn to understand ppl around me more especially from the one I love to respect to understand her, as well as my parents as they understood me but I hadn't been understanding them well. I have learn that God you understand me, you treasure me so am I to treasure my parents and my love one and You O Lord.

Help me each day by reminding me of You O Lord, to read your Word and pray for nothing's worth more than you.

I thank God for her that she had loved me so much and taken care of me. I failed to see that and so I've destroyed it. Let this day onwards, this incident be a time to remind me that she's unique for that's why I love her.

I'd wait for her. Great is our God, I pray that we'll be together in the future. Let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

stupidity

2008-10-11T20:38:00.004+08:00

my ear hurts the specs is killing my ear... ouch... sigh i miss the times she told me take it off rest a while... i was stubborn...

i lose my appetite sigh really got no mood to eat. but i had to celebrate someone's birthday. Pretty jealous of them. As I eat i remember the times of me and her... its so saddening... i wonder if she does... when she eat ? mayb not

I know it sounds stupid that she's not going to be with me but i'm still missing her not moving on... no lor i tried... is just that i love her... is it wrong requesting for more of one's time? mayb being too selfish thats why and blaming her till she felt pressured. I lost... its too late... i'm crying over spilled milk... does anyone understands me? Lord I really need your help.

regret

2008-10-11T12:50:00.002+08:00

I regret... this whole life... i regret... I don't have any feelings I'm numb... am I ?

ahhhhh

2008-10-07T11:30:00.003+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH why must u do this to me? I have a test the next two days!!! why I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND... is really the stuff out there more important? If I am there would u find me daily?. would u ? I HATE US... we'd be closer if i was there but we're separated by distance thats why you wouldn't commit..

so it all boils down to our separation. I really should have stopped you from going US... I should and now I lost you... you're not giving ur full to me ...

I want to eat!!

2008-10-06T08:52:00.004+08:00

I need to eat! sigh... why i no appetite? the sun's fading but nvr rising. Why? Lord, grant me strength, hope. I want to feel again.

Give me strong focus... I need them. Get things out where they should not be. I want to go home. i hate US.

Just yesterday, I had a dinner with some church people and yes an expected celebration birthday which i felt very uncomfortable. I too had my face filled with cream for the first time. It wasn't too happy moment having to realise that my birthday resulted and argue and both of us had to hold our relationship. I don't know anymore how to treat her. I don't wish to miss her as I suffered a lot since she's not going to put any effort in this relationship since she not going to love me more than things she have in the stupid US. its painful but what can I do? I cant avoid the dinner. They had an introduction where each one was suppose to tell their name, course and about the person next to me.

I have a fren who found her love here. and it reaches the guy's turn, he was to talk about his girl which was next to him. There goes everyone teasing him saying how sweet are things he is going to say. All listen closely. Thinking again, I too had a dinner last time.

An usher reunion dinner back in m'sia. in a thai restaurant outside a shopping mall. where they tease me and her. What is wrong? The pain rolled in I lucky it did not last long or I'd really go crazy and lose myself.

God, pls give me strength each day.

betrayed

2008-10-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

I have lost. betrayed by the looks of education. Never knew that allowing her to go to US would betray me in the end. Freedom, life enjoyment value of money so much more than love and relationship, ppl ought to give it up. Sigh, I knew a taste of that changes a lot, shouldn've knew that it would change everything including love.

Wake up, I was crying out. You have reduce one of your focus and u got other things to do. Wake up from your sleep. She doesn't need u for the moment. She wants her life not you. Her freedom, fun education life US... all. Why do you keep thinking of her... Why? She's turns from real to dream. what a birthday gift...

talking about birthday. I had fren's who stormed in my room at 3.15 am to celebrate my birthday tho its one day late and they knew it at 12 am. Thanks to them. Here's one of the comments

"Study hard, play hard, think of me hard. Don't think of her so much. LoL." by a guy i tot was bossy. kind heart but a lil annoying at times... Thanks . It was earlier that time at 10 we celebrated his birthday. I got forced eating a vanilla icecream with choc flakes. argh that sucks. in the middle of the nite? and my mouth full of that taste while i go back to sleep ... but I enjoyed it. Now that's a surprise. Wanna know more?

I had a 'fishy' a fren of mine wishing me at 12 something on my birthday and followed by others till next morning all my high schoolmates. Thats surprising and didn't know they would know it.

Last its surprising to know when your loved one thinks that wishing u late in the afternoon is nothing wrong when she, in the day having class okay has 4 hours of time(me waiting at nite). Sigh, really how hard is it just to wish someone through sms? ... And I just dun und why she would give excuses of her class rather than telling me what actually happen. sigh

Thanks my family for the wish for my bro's pic for my parents treat. THanks once again.

I pray for God's strength and love as life proceeds.

stupid US

2008-10-04T14:18:00.003+08:00

I hate US... why? it changes people... It changes them... I hate US... they steal away from me. STEALER, thief. robber. Don't you dare come near me. Now that the things they take away is happy in US has other things to enjoy has other friends to accompany them who needs a pitiful useless person in aus? "who needs u? you're there doing you're stuff and I happily enjoying here with new friends whom i can share with things i can enjoy. Get lost." say so... I HATE US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! argh!!!

Help me

2008-09-19T06:41:00.000+08:00

Lord, help me... I don't wan to feel painful. Give me a song to ease myself. I am thankful for her but why? Have I done something really wrong? I just want her to be herself at least someone i love living with?

Its just painful. More and more each day just thinking. Give me new strength each passing day. Cheer me up. Distract me. Help me.

Guys cry? sigh I wish to and to let it all out. I just cant. Probably not to good at it. I want to find a spot to shout out all I have within.

Why? I did as she said, doing stuff that I know might not be so well after all but mayb it was a change. Believed in her that it might be useful.

I don't like fairness. Everything done should be out of love. If no love was involved, that where fairness comes in, expecting something in return or expecting one to do it as well. Love allows one to do something without complains or wanting something back. That's just it. Do things don't expect anything back. Just exactly like giving to you God. With no strings attached. Why? she love me? why? why do ppl wan fairness. There is not at all fairness in the world.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Help me... or take me... this life is sometimes so pitiful that wants to give up.

~lost~

Unimportant

2008-08-24T19:25:00.000+08:00

Am I insignificant? so much so that i am to be put apart from life, education, family? Unimportant? this word has left me thinking, whole day, while I was eating, showering, studying. Why? two birds fly their way up and sore in the skies. but i walk alone.

Lord, I come before You, help me and lift me up again. I am important in You. This world may see me unimportant but You look high on me.

The pot of flower seems beautiful but unable to touch. As it grows, it faces away, elsewhere, anywhere but the gardener. It keeps itself busy growing and enjoying the beauty of the environment but not the gardener who had been there waiting daily to see its uniqueness and beauty.

Life's fragile. A little freedom is addictive. People want more apart of what they have. I missed what I have for some its still there faraway and some its lost for the time being.

Sometimes its just nice to lie on the field waiting for the next passing hour. No worries. but certain things became too valuable. So much so time is nothing. But being not able to do it, its hurtful. Arrogance drives one down.

I cant imagine when if that day would come. the day the flower disallow the gardener from ever coming near or even stand side by side with her. For the flower could have been bought by someone very much better. It may be that one day the gardener would have to say, "As long as it is happy, that's all".

The flower that blooms in the winter is the most rare and beautiful of all.

take care.

Disturbed

2008-08-10T23:17:00.002+08:00

This boy was running home one day, hoping to see his love ones happily but as he was he was approached by his friend, who talk to him. He was a little disturbed by somewhat lecture his friend was saying. As he reached home, ....

I couldn't type anymore, my heart sank.

If that day comes...

2008-08-01T01:06:00.002+08:00

This cute puppy was out with the boy till one fine day, it left him. The boy was almost bed-ridden. It was though his life was nothing more than just nothing. What could he do? He knows nothing. He watched out the window day by day. As each passing hour, he would just look out hoping he would see it. The boy asked his friend, as his friend was trying to comfort him, "When that day comes, what would you do?" His friend ponder. What would he really do if his puppy were as well run off?

Where could it have run off? His friend was very much confident with his relation with the puppy but somehow the thought never cease to go away. Was it the boy is to be blame for this thought that was in his friend? Afraid, fear would overwhelm.

To think again, his friend would be happy if the puppy was happy. Who knows, his friend's puppy may have found another mate to have its family? and was much happier than it would with his friend. If thats the case why, get it back when the puppy is happy for his friend loved his puppy so much, more than words could expressed.

It is totally unimaginable that such a day would come. But if it does, it does.

Take care

HELP!!!!

2008-05-12T23:18:00.002+08:00

Oh my gosh... I darn depressed with so much of unhappiness which way to choose? what decision to make... How can I satisfy two conditions at once?... sigh..

Lord, I pray desperately for your guidance and wisdom. I pray that you help me make a decision that could satisfy both conditions Lord. Help me... I don't want to feel this way... I can't take this neither does anyone else... I can't pretend my way through. I need this help desperately... Others suffers by my side making me an evil person no one likes. Even know it feels like all hopes is gone. I know miracle happens beyond imagination. water to wine and 5 bread 2 fishes to thousands. I pray for a huge miracle to happen here with happiness for all. Amen

My Engineering vacation... What would I want?

2008-05-06T00:04:00.007+08:00

Vacation is all I need. Yes, I did have some. 2 camps. One of which I am pretty familiar with the people. ICF Camp 2008. yeap cool rite? Here's a link to the pictures, a credit I shall give to my favorite boss, the bassist, cameraman/photographer, car expert, 'pencinta wanita'(lol), one with good practical work, the one and only MARK HWANG. lol yeap yeap. Here's the link of the pictures.http://s66.photobucket.com/albums/h267/hmarkg/Level%20Up%20ICF%20camp%202008/?start=84

Of course, there is another camp of my interest but turn out not really of interest. So happen Mark was suppose to attend but couldn't and 2 lecturers that was suppose to attend also couldn't attend leaving me with a bunch of gamblers and smokers full with vulgar words. Don't get me wrong. I don't do what they do but overall they were kind and good people and I wouldn't say I did not enjoy anything with them. I did and was pleasant. Here's some picture that I took with my phone camera.

Beach view from the pent house balcony

Another Beach view from the pent house balcony

Another beach view from the balcony

This view is from the entrance to the lift(A view opposite the pent house)

This fish is humongous called the dragon fish

Another picture of the big fish. It is probably almost 180cm

Some description of the fish

The pool site. I had hours of swimming and enjoyed the sauna. Unfortunately no picture of the sauna.

A guy's pent house. It was messier. Many times more.

A guy's bedroom

The basketball ring broken by my friend who wanted to show that he can hold on to the ring and do a slam.

Wow! Coconut seller. Lol, it is actually an illegal plucking of the beach coconut trees.

My tasty American breakfast worth RM15 that was for free. Lol

Some of them trying to throw pebbles that bounces on the water.

A somewhat unique fan that can spin when there is win. It is made from wood. purely wood.

Thats about the vacation. We had a barbeque session where one of my lecturer finally made it but when home after that. The whole session was full of swimming, beer and gambling. All I did and enjoy was swimming, beer, breakfast and chat. haha

I want... I want... I want... There is tons of things I want... People gets demanding as they grew. Let the list begin and see how many gets fulfilled at the end of the year...

1. Leather wallet(specific material)
2. Handphone pouch(specific material)
3. A black jacket from top to the knee
4. Somebody to come to australia with me if i go.
5. A scholarship to Australia UNSW or a prestigious US uni
6. LAPTOP with cool specs such as 2GHz, good graphic card, high memory and so on.
7. Electric guitar - Ibanez or yamaha
8. Acoustic guitar - soft strings with cut off at the middle.
9. A cool shoe - badminton
10. Get back in touch with Wai Ying Mei Mei and Gabriel
11. Kimberley to remember and email me often.(someone worth remembering, yea)
12. Buy cool clothes from SUB.
13. Buy gifts and clothing for kim.
14. Lots of cool electronic project.
15. Help Mark Hwang(boss) do project.
16. Learn speaking skills.
17. Learn managing skills.
18. Own car, MyVi can la...
19. Get smart about electronic theories and studies as well as practical works.
20. Learn mandarin.
21. Maple figures and plushies...(dunno how to spell)

Thats all for now... yeap... So many things I want but seems hard to get them... haihz... Only time can tell. Sigh

~Unchangable fact that needs a miracle~(a really big miracle, I pray).

Better day~~~

2008-02-21T00:54:00.007+08:00

I'll rate this day 3/5. I'd love to say that its something great after a horrendous week of project, studies, relationships, friends, lecturer. I finally believe that the coming days will be busy but less sickening. Hard to believe? I guess it is a matter of fact of time.

What makes the day special is that i had a trip out. It was a little awful at first but end up as in the end of the day a cheerful one. But first, we'll look at these amazing pictures.

My classmate having a beer bottle during lecture.

Turns out the bottle's pretty smashed up at bottom.

Drunken and falling asleep.

Got all of you didn't I? Its a fake bottle made from paper. But doesn't it look real? haha. This was done during our boring lecture in business class.

Alright, here's my day a trip to pasar road, a road with row of shophouses selling electronic components. As my project requires it, i had to go there to get my items. It cost RM4 to go all the way there and get them. Trip by bus and lrt takes an hour and half at least to get there and get back to subang. Rush back all the way to college to attend my visa application preparation and once again out to KL to help accompany my friend buy pens. LoL Along this very trip, sad to say we're both unhappy but as i said the end's nice. Ha ha. Here's some pictures.

The LRT. I know its common but c'mon la I want to have fun taking pictures.

This boy sits in the train at about noon time. My am I shock that small kids these days are so brave and daring to come alone and travel around.

This is an accident on my way back home. I guess it is not clear because I was about to miss the whole scene. Anyway the motorcyclist is on the floor unconscious. Hopefully not dead.

This fanciful fire extinguisher is place at such 'strategic' point. With the superb driving of RapidKL bus drivers, accelerating and breaking like nobody's business this thing rocks and almost fall.

A box of love cookies from my friend's boyfriend which she gave to the whole CF to share. LoL

Free starbucks. Too bad its over.

Btw, I had also watch the movie "Jumper", seems interesting with nice actions. Too bad story line is just slightly above average and graphic effects is nothing much. Besides that, I think its pretty cool.

Anyway, thats all for it now.

Thanks. Do leave a comment. C ya

~kurietivu~

Hard day

2008-02-20T00:02:00.003+08:00

Haihz, so not often blog but yet another bad blog... It has been one of the days that u feel awfully mess up like the whole world's on you. LoL, nah not the whole world part of the world that seems close to you.

I had no idea what happen to the busses today. It seems that they all stuck some where and went for mamak. Seems so because I don't see any passed by in the past one hour of waiting. Nuts. I resulted to an improper minibus that pretty much seem to be tore down anytime soon. I gave a call to mom, asking for a lift home to where the bus will drop me, nearby summit. However, trouble arises as she cant wait few mins and let me walking home. Yes, my house is nearby too but I am super tired with a great thirst for water. I got home and got another session of craps going in my ear and out again. What a day, after that, having someone whom I know closely, I thought I could have a good chat. It pretty much end up to another level of problems where complaints comes in. Nope I do not blame the person but its awful. Probably it isn't my mood to receive more at that time. Hopefully that person's problem was solved. Now here I am, greatly feeling down, thinking back, WHY is this here?

Thanks to my new phone and my new bluetooth adapter. I am able to take many photos now. Here are some:

A less-sugar chocolate with merry christmas. Given by my boss during my work in december.

An electronic circuit of an FM transmitter. When u speak into the microphone(the black thing at the top left of the photo, it will be changed into a signal and send to the receiver(detected by radio) and you can hear yourself on radio.

A japanese egg desert or some kind. I dunno how to explain but its served hot, contains egg that's soft but in solid form.

Till then, I will give my best once again to try update as often as possible this time round

~kurietivu~

Little rose

2007-10-08T23:46:00.000+08:00

Haihhhhhzzzz, whats going on? painful as a bee sting. Why? The small garden once full of happiness and joy, has been torn down. Why? That's where the little rose is planted, now looking pale and losing its color. As the other rose sat beside thinking, why has all these gotta happen? . I believe this runs in both of the rose's minds. Why tear down the small garden. It was full of joy.

This time the other rose felt apart from the little rose. Leaving it to wander somewhere not known. Sigh, "IT'S PAIN", the other rose cries out, but only to itself not to the little rose, for the little rose was already pale and losing its color. "Help! Help!", cries the other rose. "I just want to be with the little rose and see it blooming beautifully each morning, no stress but peace"... Sigh, only time will tell, only time will tell.

Take care little rose.

My Ocean

2007-10-06T00:11:00.000+08:00

I have an ocean wide. It was calm and sea blue with very nice view, a view i loved so much. But, it has it's rage. Some like the view, some despise it. Probably in a joking way, an unpleasant way, but however, it increase my ocean's rage.

It send waves rising above wanting to sink the land that was there. But I asked, why is this wave depressed? Rain falls as the skies turn grey. I gently touch its warm water and sit by it as I talk and watch the sky.

My ocean has its rage but also has its beauty. It was very pretty and I love it. Its stillness just makes me want to be with it more. I love my ocean, greatly beautiful no matter wat people say. I wish to see its stillness and enjoy it with the cool breeze, and not its anger raging as tho it wants to sink all of land down. Why oh why, is my ocean angry? Take my advice and be calm for it is beautiful to your stillness.

Come back and give yourself happiness instead of gloomy states. Be the ocean I've always love. It matters what I think about it only, no other.

Leave me

2007-10-03T00:21:00.000+08:00

Great my mood is totally blown off, i have no concentration for study as well. Why? because of some silly event ... Why can't people just understand that I do not want it!!! Isn't it suppose to be happy? well, I'm happy without them celebrating, back off stubborn people.

Sigh, terrible event, that even made my dear rose turn away from me. What's the big deal if I do not want to celebrate it. Why must people cause so much trouble. Just Back off. Leave me to my wish. Why can't his wishes be satisfied for this event? Aren't it suppose to come true? So that means the people hoping that the wish never come true? Why ?

L.E.A.V.E M.E. T.O. M.Y.S.E.L.F!!!! Thank you...

Show off!!!!

2007-07-27T23:54:00.001+08:00

Crap la !!! stop implementing last minute ideas and follow procedure. Thats all I can say. If only proper planning was done. Tiredness haih. My feet is weighs a ton now, not being able to move at all. At least all went well, thanks to the MC of the day planned most of the things smoothly. Great game they had also. So much conflict!!!. One wanting this and that, but come on, just follow schedule.

And some people thinks that their ideas are super good, why not go propose them to the leader. why come and bother ME!!!! Some people thinks they are elder than other thinks they are smarter and have better ideas!! show off

Good thing is, meeting lecturers seeing them having fun and of course having fun with frens. Let this event bond us with the lecturers even more, I hope? but it sure is worth it just to have a chat and see how are they and stuff like that...

Thank God for leftover food. My, am I super hungry!!! just the first mouth full of rice taste so good. mmm mmm ... finally it ends and thankfully it was a success.

thats all, c u next time.

Drips

2007-07-25T17:46:00.000+08:00

Drips some time symbolizes pain and hurt. All this while we think we had enough, the plants think that the air suppy is enough, the children think that the parent provide all. However, sometimes things mess up. Air supply is dirty and parent involved in car crash leaving hurts and sorrow. Sometimes it is out of expectation that things work out oppositely and leave drips.

Becareful with words. Power of life in the power of the tongue. Therefore guard it well. Let it not reveal uncertainty or cause sorrow. Rather, let it flow allowing love and relationship and goodness and all those that makes the mouth go wide and cheeks revealing its cheer.

Position yourself in the other shoe that's what I fail to do. Shouldn't it be this way if I just hold back. I DON'T KNOW!!! Think THINK!!! what is it???

Don't I get it? What shall I do? what is it ??? Tell me... Sometimes its useless, feels so...

Shape

2007-07-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

crash the car into the tree!!! shouting off the cliff. Throwing stones to the far end of the sea. Just how much does a bee wishes to sting its enemy? Troubles unsolvable, what will the eagle do? In times for rage, just how much can someone pull back his/her tongue.

Therefore it's very much better to just stay by the side. hold back deep inside and let it reside. Let go of it. Talking is just as simple as thinking of it. But the act of it is like pulling a bull with a string around the neck. Blood is simply just a symbol of red liquid with pain.

The money lender lends money to a person. How much tornado stir up when the person fled away. Raise your hands but keep it high in the air till your muscles weaken. Who cares? A number is just the matter of resemblance to performance. Why IS IT SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I give up. I totally give up ... Let things just be as it is. Shape is always something with opening. Therefore, there goes.

Thoughts of confusion

2007-07-22T22:28:00.000+08:00

In the rain, this plant particularly being in the rain having much to think. It bears two flowers with rare beauty. It was previously told that the flowers should be cut off and thrown away by the gardener. It was also given a choice to decide one flower to be cut off. When the time comes, he has to choose either one or else it will lose both of them. Under the rain, it thinks hard, also crying in pain from within, for it is so confused. How is it that he can make a choice or even help maintain this two flowers?

As the warm rain pours, it feels like loneliness just creeps by. Which is the flower for it? Probably confused too which one should be the one stay with it and which one to be cut off? Sometimes it takes more than brains to think it out.

Car passes by so quickly, showing how time flies. Caught up with everyday work is something just getting more and more boring and meaningless. An ant working whole life building its nest. I cant think or even wonder how it survive just to live?

Now that it is gone, what's gonna happen? How is life going to be? Who am I months from now? Twisted with wondering minds, I think it's just pointless thinking on. A forked road, in front, the road not taken? Is it a road full of changes? full of risk? full of unexpectation. on the other road which is totally mess up, closed down. Flying way from here, its a point at a high building with just one option. u guess it ? JUMP?

Skies are just like imaginations of a mind, with many shapes of clouds. Sometimes thunderstorms just kills that imaginations dark clouds just brings you to a 'give up' point.

Thats all from a mind of imaginations.

...

Sting of a bee is painful

2007-06-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

What would the world be without friends? How would things go along if everythings comes in singular? Single? A term very much use to define lonliness. A term used to define many many feelings. A view outside the bus window describes this. Everything come and go. It may pause a while as the bus stops but it never remains. True?

Each day, as I pass by looking out the window's of my car or the public bus, the scenery is never the same. NEVER. Everything changes. What matters is that, is the scenery still beautiful or not? If time could pause, what will it be. Does happiness last? Does the cock crows and never stops? Does the flower continues blooming forever? Does the Sun rise and never sets?

Question that arises in my mind sometime make me wonder, is it really real? The bible did mention, everything is temporary. Nothing last forever except for His love and your soul. Each day, a friend thinks differently about you. Each day, the lecturer looks at you with a different perspective. Each day, your girlfriend/boyfriend treats you differently. Each day, a friend may have leave you or forgotten you or even some, remembers you. Each day... too many to tell

In the stories today, friends betray each other for their own greed. Is that what is left now? greed that spoils relationship is like a drug that spoils a person. Grows as it will and finally kills them. It resemble the sting of a bee which we think that such a tiny insect wouldn't do much harm.

-kurietivu-

Abandon?

2007-06-08T02:28:00.000+08:00

So much so yes, rare updates, laziness, being busy with college work!!! And mainly is because of insuitability of topics regarding to the theme. But thanks to a particular person, who reminded me of it once more. Here's something:

How would I say? the red rose fades away, barely able to see it again. Reaching for it seems impossible. But is it really gone? or has another rose came by? How is it that the pot able to contain it? I don't think a pot holds two colored roses at once. What has happen? Till today the red roses seems to be blooming more and more each day which only can be watch from afar. The other rose appear and surprises the pot. Soil began to be fill in.

An embarassing sight to be seen. A performance with such that it is wished not to appear. Mistakes mistakes. Therefore, proven through mistakes we learn. But, resulting from this, a philosophical statement i would like to present:

"If there is no loser, there will be no winner... be proud to be a loser."

A loser plays a role too. By right, winner should thank the loser. Without them, there is no winner. True ? False?

A person goes fishing. Being unable to catch what he has targeted that day is a disappointment don't you think? Isn't it like a test given to him? How much he catches determines how much his pay would be and how much his pay would be determine how much his life would be better. Therefore, if a disappointment arises, how sad would it be. Of course there is a chance to improve in the future. What is done, is done. The past is a past.

Press on for tomorrow. Another busy day that I pray God will bring me through and hopefully I remember everything. Thanks again to the particular person who reminded me of this blog.

-kurietivu-

Faraway!!!

2007-02-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

It's so so faraway!!! I felt. The potted plant got shifted away. It is as though running away. Why does it have to... ? I wish to see every morning when i am awake. Unfortunately, in the future, it shall be harder to meet. Where has it gone? At least i know the potted plant went with joy, along with friends who will enjoy together. Watered at another place today, it feast with fulfillment leaving the past to wonder.

Gift

2006-10-03T00:50:00.000+08:00

I wish!!! I wish... it's 45 mins pass 12. I took my sit on the bus... looking out the window at the rain drops that flows down the glassed window. I thought of the red rose the other day. Wish that it would call me. I take a spoon full of my food earlier today wandering away with day dreams of beauty. I felt being in a room now with few ppl. Some just knowing you by a hi - bye call but some being faithful to the friendship. I cried out loud in disappointment wanting to throw all these feelings away. I just wanna cry but couldn't. I desire a gift seems far too futile to think of.

What would the rest of the day be? To watch others entangle themselves up and enjoy the beatiful sceneries while i stood there alone to see in grief? Maybe it would change to the better. Maybe there is a surprise just right out of the window or maybe something unexpectable might happen. I do not know. Help me God!! I pray a prayer that Your love it covers me and Your peace to guide me!! Thank you.

Near? nah pretty far

2006-10-01T15:33:00.000+08:00

Well!! this blog never really points out creativity !! sorry for that!!

Today, I saw the red rose. It was beautiful. I get to watch it for some time but its just a flower by the side. No sooner it was watered by the gardener. I had fun watching it. I talked to the gardener bout the flower. Utmost rare and beautiful.
Many roses grew beside it but it outshines others. Too bad it just bloom to the other way as if it is avoiding me. The gardener takes care of the flower well.

I got back after that. This feeling that is in me, hmmm pretty confusing. I wish for that the rose continue to bloom more and more each day.

Thats all for now.Bye

Felt lonely

2006-09-10T23:04:00.000+08:00

Argh!!! I feel so lonely today. Not because I don't have friends to accompany me but just lonely. Help!!! Sorry for not posting up any events this few weeks but we had a malacca trip during merdeka.

Today, morning was pretty sleepy. Couldn't open my eyes fully. Breakfast wasn't wonderful too. Went to church. Still feeling left out. I had friends to mingle around but it's juz that I just feel lonely. so heart felt pain.

Went for driving lesson at 3. Argh do I have a short term memory loss? Why cant I do as told. I kept forgetting to put signal, look at the mirror when the signal is on, and change gear... What has gone so wrong today? Painful

Today is Wai Hong burfday!!! JUst wanna wish him a blessed burfday. May he enjoy his burfday happily full of enjoyment. He is now at mamak stall with his friends.

man !!! end this !!! I hate this lonely feeling!!! Giv me some pump up spirit. I wanna cry.

Jia Zhuang

2006-08-24T04:09:00.000+08:00

This mv is seriously nice. She look pretty with that hairstyle

Youth Camp 2006!! from RLC VYS

2006-08-24T02:54:00.000+08:00

Back !! I would say it's simply terrific camp. Tremendously awesome as if the smell of the fresh morning field. With the team of Planet Shakers performing for every of our session, gives us a great worship fill with fire for God and passion for souls.

Food there was unimaginablely good, with mouth watering dishes good enough to put your mind in dreamland. Except for the vege that really sucks, I would say is almost a great meal that I long to have for so long. haha

Roommates were extremely noisy, full of vulgarity I would say. Not really much what I like. I seriously enjoy their company but not with those limit of vulgar words. Sorry to say, it wasn't pretty much exciting, though the fact that it was noisy and I was left awake to hear them. Kinda pity two 'small kids' age 14 and 13 to hear those things. Can it be better without them?

Message was awesome. Really touching needs of the people. So awesome that it once again lit up the burning flame inside of us. Our passion for lost souls have very much increase. Pastor Paul , thank you for your great message though you gotta leave early to attend to your wife.

Activities were exciting too. Due to the insufficient time the 3rd group(my group) didn't manage to finish the flying fox activity. 12 foot wall activity was great. With an added activity, volleyball it makes it a whole lot more fun.

'Treasure nite' , since the team was safari. It is actually pretty similar with talent nite. Skits are to be preform by various groups name after precious stones put on the crown of a king. My group, Onyx, was ... how would i say? It was great afterall. I wouldn't say teamwork was prefect but it was good enough to come up with something like this. Anyways, winner for this talent nite was Sapphire(runner-up) and Amethyst(champion). I was very much expecting Emerald to win since it has lots of potential people but it doesn't seems so. Other teams preformed well as well. I was pretty much happy with my group though the victory wasn't on our side, but like pastor said, winner is the one who enjoys the game.

Bus trip was pretty boring. I am fast asleep on both going and coming back.

Able to see my friends enjoy is also one thing i seriously enjoyed. I truely, sincerely say I am pretty much happy to see them happy,being with them to enjoy.

Thorns of roses preventing red rose be together but attracts bees to it. Withered rose simply just watching the fading sun shining down on the red rose.

already Crazied

2006-08-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

sky blue!! sky blue!! Holidays are meant to be fun... shouldn't it ? I thought so... With my course having not much in common (holidays) with others, i think it's pretty lonesome at times.
I see the fishes swimming in waters freely swimming here and there ... Aren't it a lil bored ? everyday just swimming around?
But to think again they get to go to different places for FREE!! We, humans got to pay!! everything includes money!!! How pathetic... Humans are pretty much enslave to it.
Life's not really bed of roses anymore. Even the rich wants to get more richer. No doubt money is important... LOL

Well, it is juz simply boring during the holidays. Going out with friends isn't easy as they have colleges some having skools. One thing I hate most would be boringness. Crap!!!

Thorns in the heart

2006-07-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

thorns in the flesh commonly used by ppl feeling pain. what about thorns in the heart? As the beautiful rose look to the evening sun, it's beauty glared along with it. Smiles came out but wasn't for real. Looking back few past times where it was question and it answer, "Yes, I still do." It was the pain from no where slowly opening the wounds.

Withered plant is longing for air to breathe. Crushed is it's feeling for today. The cool wind blew through as it watches the rose pretending to enjoy the evening sun. Life is probably over for now. Cries for help is what it's asking for.

Wednesday....

2006-06-14T16:18:00.000+08:00

Good and bad seems to balance up sometimes. Let see... I woke up at 10.48 today when my class suppose to start at 10am. Yupz, freaking late. Knowing that I will definitely miss the class, I decided not to go to for class. yea... Walking out at 11.10 to opposite of Summit bus stop to get a bus. Eventually, I got lucky and a bus arrived.

But, kinda unfortunate. This bus took me to sri KL bus stop where I suppose to get down but it when on and did not stop. Haihz means extra walking for me. Still feeling sleepy from this morning i walk with a lil haste, thought to reach class so have some chat with my lecturer. As i was walking through, I SAW ALEX'S CAR KENA SAMAN. lol not really a good thing but I felt pretty funny haha. sorry alex.

Oh ya, I almost got to an accident today. As i walk out of the bus up to the road across some shophouses, a car came with high speed. I was about to cross the road, when that car suddenly zoom thru. I really thank God i decided not to attend class. I would be rushing and dashing thru if i had want to go to class.

Next up, I had a function today to attend an Award's presentation ceremony today. Guess wat? I was suppose to wear formal. Unfortunately, I would say i wore 'semi'-formal. I had almost all requirements except i was wearing sports shoes and short sleaves T-shirt. LoL. I felt so funny taking my award haha. Oh ya btw, it was an award for my good results for getting 4As and 1B for my first semester. hehe

Alritez, me back to maple again...

Facts of life!!!

2006-06-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

Happiness has its reason. LoL no idea ... this word juz came to my mind. Anyway certain facts I would like to point up to. Alritez here it goes.

Rich kids or rather would i say moderate kids this days living in more than they have, example being able to buy branded clothes entertainment everyday, shopping frequently are often I would say, not all but mostly do not do well in studies. I find that pretty true. In fact, poor ppl with determination to study are most likely to suceed in life.

Another. Are Malaysian really that impatient? I mean like I do hear banging sounds(horns) here and there in traffic jams for just some silly reasons. Traffic light turns green, if the front guy doesn't move in 1 sec, there goes the sound polution.

The word 'f***' . Yea, it had been spreading like electric flying thru circuits. Not to mention guyz but gurls as well using it. Sadly, I would say I dislike my friends using it. Really hate it. Why must it be a daily word. Expressing anger could be in a different way. People may think it as something normal but i would feel it is practically rude. This is commonly spread by influence of peers. Yes, your friends. I have many friends using this word in front of me day by day. I have tried resisting those words to my head and it works thinking it as a really disgusting word. I seriously hope not to hear my friends saying those words again. Ya, many will critize this part of this blog, thinking that many are using why cant I? but think again aren't you just as bad as them?

Procrastinating is just another way to stress and block your pathway. I am a college student with this attitude. Trying to improve myself though but sometimes i still do it. It really stress you up to the point you give up studying. Break this and you find yourself having ample time to play.

alritez, sorry for the late update. Super long before i write the last time. Gotta sleep now. Byez XD

Life?

2006-05-06T02:16:00.000+08:00

Sick and pretty distress is the feeling of a cut tree. Or a flower losing it's life gradually becoming dead. As the sun melts the snowman, destroys the life of a human so fragile. The wine that was suppose to taste good has gave a different taste to it's drinker infact benefiting other drinker with its taste. Breeze of peacefulness passes by but couldn't bring comfort to one but others felt it so tender and soothing. Cries of a baby in need of milk. What do you do ? feed him? Leave him alone unnoticeable and attend to others. It's a cry on the knees. An imagination of such scary scene being alone in an empty garden. Nature is only part of life that does not really gets to you.

Inti Nilai Resort

2006-04-27T10:25:00.000+08:00

Adrian, Alex, their mom, and I went to Inti Nilai yesterday. Planned time was 10.00am but end up goin there at 1.30pm. haha. Anyway, it was quite a distance from home.

Upon reaching there I could see that is not really a campus but rather a resort. lol . They should name it Inti Nilai resort or something, suggested by Adrian's mom, auntie shireen. We went to a hall where they have their enrolment and Q & A session.

After some explanation on certain types of engineering, we were offered to take a career test. Approaching the area we saw this 'Olympic' type of swimming pool with 2 basketball courts on our right and superb apartments with guards in each on our left.

It wasn't that hard to find the office which offers the career test. Reaching there Adrian started the test followed by me and finally alex. It was a computerized test.

Adrian had 5 jobs related to his interest, abilities, and work values. I have one and alex had none.lolz Guess what's mine... ? COMMERCIAL ARTIST,lol. How could I ever be a commercial artist. Some of you may wonder what is commercial artist. Well is those ppl where you do advertisement, models and sing songs and all those. eg. Zhou Jie Lun, Wang Li Hom(recommended by adrian) lol.... Funniest thing that day man.

We went back and I was dropped at summit to meet my friends at 5.30. We went to a burfday 'party'. Jonathan Loh Wee Lee. lol. He gave all of us a treat to 'makan' and then later cc. haha. However, with these free treats. There are still some ppl who came late. Haihz, MALAYSIANS.

After our cc, we went mamak. Yupz, chit chat till midnite. Me pretty naughty liao huh? lol. Andy gave us me a lift home. Nearing my house, I realise I was out whole day and did not bring my keys. Crap, i called the housephone. Lucky my mom woke up and let me in. If it was my father I think ... nah I can't imagine what would happen to me. Anyway, I dun think I escape from his lecture. Sure to lecture me tonite. lol. That's all for today.

'Band com'

2006-04-23T01:03:00.000+08:00

At 8.30 left for Dataran Merdeka to watch 'band com', pancaragam in malay... My was it boring. I was with aaronand his school friends. It was pretty crowded already by the time we reached that freaking hot sauna. People were cramming and sweating like pigs with the killer aroma contaminating the atmosphere.

Anyway, most of the performances were rather boring. What was the catch was performances by Victorian institute and Saint John school.

For 2 hours of standing straight, argh, my back was aching madly. I went to find a sit while the boring performances we on. People there were screaming madly. My, I feel like slapping those who shouted to my ear.

After Saint John's performance, pretty satisfying I find, we went to get a drink from nearby 7-11 store. We went back to Dataran Merdeka for the results.

LOLZ, Saint John(SJ) got third with kuen ching school 2nd in place and Victorian Institute(VI) first. For your info, VI and SJ are strong rivals.

Surprisingly, for SJ ppl that kuen ching has robbed their place as the 2nd position. and VI swept all first prizes. Too bad for SJ ppl. haha.

I and aaron went back with LRT and alex's car. Had some mamak before goin back to my home. Oh ya, we smuggled maggi hot cup mee into the LRT too and ate them there.
_____________________________________________________

Hearing the song, the withered plant began to fade away. The sky has turned grey. flowers once stood straight up from the stalk, drops as though it has been cut. Hurtful it is.

Even water turns sour. Sun sets as it avoid being watched. Wolves howl to the darkening moonlight. Spilled cup of wine simbolizes the ending of it and beginning of withered plant. Blue waves hits the shore strongly with rage.

Only time will tell whether the plant will ever recover and grow once more.

Remembering T.I.O.man

2006-04-20T22:49:00.000+08:00

1st Day of T.I.O.man
Departed at 11.30pm sunday and reaching the jetty in mersing at 4.40am Freaking boring in the bus. Only entertainment is Kai Tzin's hp(cho tai ti) and clement's DS. Unfortunately, my earphones of the mp3 player was spoil and loose because of the missing cloth on the ear phones. Troublesome!!!! finally sleep uncomfortably in the public bus, waking up every hour.

Reaching the jetty at 4.40am, we sat at the bench nearby while discussing what to do. Finally when to a nearby row of shophouses.Some brush their teeth there and claim to see cockroaches. wtc man!! They were shouting as though the toilet was theirs. Later, we when for breakfast. sux worth RM2. While playing 'Cho Ti'(cho tai ti) and drinking the sickening coffee, yucks!!, we chatted, some being really mou liew!!! Later at 7.30 if i am not mistaken, guess around there we went to the jetty once more and waited patiently.

There was this guy, named Gan, telling his tale of being knocked down by a motorcycle. His and old fella btw. Funny, how he said that he was knocked by a rushing motorcyclist and hurt his ribs. Saying that he has done good things in life and he was saved. The specialist told him that he needed an operation, which he dislike most, but after few weeks he was all fine and ready to go home. lol.

Anyway back to story, speedboat arrived, "Bluewater 4" sat there and we are on our way to the the tioman island. Slept in the boat however coz of tiredness, almost fell while sleeping. Some europeans was probably laughing of it. lol

Reached the island our first activity was snorkling, we were teached how to use it. Man, learning was nice though drinking seawater taste rather salty. We were allowed to feed the fishes too. while swimming among the fishes, we were laughing about this remora fish that sticks at other creature as transport. Funny thing is that, one of my friend said that it sticked on my friend's butt. lol

Next, we went to Tulai island. Superb island. White sand and crystal clear seawater. Took some pictures, and eat lunch there. (packed food from the chalet). In the cold, we went with speed boat to our chalet. Argh it was real rest for us.

Dinner at 7.30. Was deliciously fantastic. BBQ food. 5 dishes. awesome!!! Later went back to the room to mahjong. yes kinda addictive too. played till 10.30 where most of us drop dead on the bed and fell fast asleep.

2nd day at T.I.O.man
Woke up intending to see sunrise but was late. at 7.30 am we woke up just in time for breakfast. It was all time favorite 'Nasi Lemak'. Too bad for asa( a friend of mine) . She doesn't eat rice. lolz weird huh, malaysian who doesn't eat rice.

Later, went back to chalet and chit chat while mahjong-ing. You will find this activity pretty often mentioned during reading this blog because it's our main source of entertainment. At noon, we once again went for snorkling, kinda bored liao. haha

Oh, I forgot to mentioned that on the first day we did not apply sun-block except for one of us. All of us were burnt like chicken. One of my friend, ts , naturally cant become dark, turned pink and white . Lolz, we were introduced of this aloe vera sun lotion. ts applied three times a day lol.

While going to another island with the speedboat, there was rain falling on the island, wonderfully seen from afar. We climb up the mountain to watch waterfall, but it was slippery according to the tour guide. We could see that the river was rushing strongly and isn't save for us to play. Too bad.

Went back to chalet and mahjong once more. In the evening, I, Kai Tzin(kt) Daniel and Fang Chyuan(fc) and teck seng(ts) went walking around the beach while others peacefully sleep. I collected some shells. When back and prepare for dinner at same time.

That day, had Prawns(special dish). Trully feeling and delicious. Back to the chalet and mahjong again. We ordered wine with 37.5 % alcohol, mixed with Sprite to drink while watching the stars. Nah that did not last even 10mins. We went to the cafe and watched some old comedy acted by stephen chow. Slept at 12.30

It was a freaking cold night as my friend set it to 16 degrees celcius whole night. I was freezingly sleeping under the air conditioner. wtc man!!!! comforter was enuf. Brrr

3rd day in T.I.O.man
Once again, it rained. wtc man. Our activity for that day was once again cancelled. Our plan to watch sunrise once again failed for everyone failed to wake up. Breakfast was mee hoon and hokien mee. Relieve came to our dear fren asa who does not eat rice. lol

Back to chalet mahjong again. Haha. 12.30 had lunch, 1.30 was snorkling again. These time was really an experience to me. I got sea sick due to the rough waves. Fren said that my lips were white in colour. I almost vomited though. Back we go resting a while. We borrowed a volleyball and played. It was damn mou liew went we stupidly create all sorts of funny rules. Asa was on the nintendo DS(clem's wan) wish not to be disturbed as she was doing an operation(game). The ball hit her and there goes my fren running away not admiting who did it. lol

Later we got bored and went in the chalet and ... you'll noe mahjong again. At 4.30 i guess, clem and kt went cycling and kinda hill hiking where there saw some freaky scarecrow and 'rumah terbiar'. Bladdy scarry man.

6.30, kayaking. yea. After renting it, we brought it to shore. An accident occured. While attending to someone's question a big wave swept the kayak in front of me towards me. Hitting me to the ground. My spectacles fell of and my head was bleeding. Argh it was pain but i was rather concern of my specs. Thank God, wai hong hero of the day found it . We push the kayak once more to the deeper to the sea where the wave is less rough and got on it.

We kayak all the way to a nearby part of the island and there we acted pretty stupidly. we buried ts in the ground with half a meter of sand above him. He was unable to move though he tried. It was fun making fun of him and laughing at him. The sky was soon to dark. We finally remove some sand so that ts could get out. We then kayak back. It was freaking dark that time already almost not seeing anything. Luckily we reached shore safely. haha

fc my partner was unable to pull the kayak to back. Wat to do, i pulled that kayak alone back to where it belong. In the wet condition we actually ate dinner straight. Haha, but i hadn't have enough mood to eat that time. Ate quite little.

Went bath later and once more mahjong. Seriously feeling stupid going there to mahjong only. haha. Daniel who planned not to sleep but in the end was the 2nd to sleep. Oh ya, we settled the bill that night as well with each paying and extra of 72.50 per person apart from the accomodation, activity, transport and food. Slept at 12.30 finally due to nothing to do.

4th Day of T.I.O.man
This time sunrise plan wasn't a failure. Everyone went except me coz I failed to wake up. wtc man go without calling me. Ta Ma De. Anyway, once again i woke up for breakfast just in time. It was western style. Toast bread with egg and sausage. Back to chalet we packed and got on the land rovers. It was at 7.40. Going all the way back to tekek the first kampung where we arrived the first day. It was fun going through all the rough area and watching the scarecrow, a joker with one big smile there. It will be pretty scarry at nite. Amazed by the driver's skill of driving throught the mud, we watched in awe.

Finally reached at 9.10 am roughly. Went to some duty-free shop and my friends done some shopping. At 9.40 the speedboat arrived. Finally went back to Mersing port. Those sleeping in the speedboat were clearly seeing 'feng tau' (shaking heads) as though they were on ecstasy. lol. At the port, we went to have lunch at the same shop were we first arrived at the jetty.

Lol, once Daniel asked that the table to be cleared for we ordered alot and wanted to order summore but was not heard. 2nd time, we told her to clear and there she go walking away again. wtc man. lol.

This time were suppose to go back by SVIP(super VIP) bus but the driver was late 1 hour. lol malaysians haihz... In the bus some slept some watched the show played on the tv in the bus. It was 6 hours ride back. Pretty tired too. We had fun chatting in the bus as well. Reaching back at Bukit Bintang we went to Plaza low yat in a shop named Tong Lo Wan to have dinner. Expensive man.

Finally, went back by monorail and ktm to carrefour. Thanks kt for transport back to our home sweet home. Argh , peace and internet and my bed once more.

I might miss something out. For articles on our tioman visit with picture's pls visit clem's blog. Thx for reading and do comment.

Departing to T.I.O.man

2006-04-16T17:00:00.000+08:00

5.00 pm, 4 hours and 30 mins before i leave for Daniel's house. Goin to an island for exile. Exile from the hideous world of homework and assignments. Buzz off life of stress.

Anyway, sorry for not updating this blog for pretty number of months. Like i mention, it was the homework and assignments that kept me busy. Blame them. Many things happen lately.

1.Finished exams. Happy for that.
2.Got lots of my assignment done within due date(luckily). Thank you God.
3.Solving problems for finances.(Really sick of it.)
4.Maple lvling. So hard to lvl now. Summore being ks-ed(kill-stealed) of a steely worth 10m, 10m u noe.

Haihz, at church today is kinda boring. Got to do double duty and now knowing got to become a security. *thinking* I'd enjoyed it. ya meetin church frens.
Got a bit chaosed knowing my mp3 is missing(with a fren in church). Sorry if being harsh k ... My source of entertainment, haha.

1. My com
2. mp3 player
3. handphone

I probably go crazy without them, excluding frens la(under item category).

Alrite, guess thats all for now.Can't wait goin to T.I.O.man. Gonna enjoy superb activities there. woo hoo.

**nah i blog liao, u noe who

Beauty of the red rose

2006-02-26T21:22:00.000+08:00

The two white rose blooms together, knowing each other closely. It sometimes feels great having similar interest that helps one another get along together. Cheers to each other for it was which to last forever.

The red rose of beauty from another stalk bloom no longer than the two white roses. With this pouring out unexplainable feeling that shakes the atmosphere. It attracts the butterfly to it which reveals it's beauty to nature of vast difference from others. Beauty so beautiful beyond description. Even the the bright rounded moon cant outshine it's beauty. Character of perfection no human could resist to pluck.

The two white rose, one wither as the other begins grow itself nearer and nearer day by day till it entangles the red one. What has happen? The withered rose was cut and dropped to the ground. As it goes the withered rose wishes to it has never grown from the same stalk. The smell of fulfillment towards the other has left it almost died out on the side bushes. As the other white rose entangles the red one, they grew closer and closer even more each day. People look to it as though some miracle has happen. A prefect scene for others to watch with the sun setting that adds whats best to it.

Withered rose, withered rose? Why isn't you that entangles the red rose? Why is it that you grow from the same stalk as the other? What has cause you to be cut off from the stalk to the bottom of the bush that causes u to look in pain day by day. What will u do now? Is this the end for the withered rose? It's beauty has no longer has it's purpose and on the ground it shall stay till each petals blown off by the wind. Has it has no chance at all?

Pretty boring day

2006-02-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since i post, sorry, I guess lazyness is to be blamed. College was fine today. I enjoyed it. CF today was a little extraordinary. Instead of the usual room we gotta get another room outside of college which is smaller. ya kinda crowded too. What to do? the original room was used for test. haihz

The usual boring class, English, with the teacher always diverting here and there, answering questions from a foreign student whose mother tongue is Arab. His english wasn't good eventhough after he went for EIP(some english learning course la). Almost every word he doesn't know he asked. Sounds like a good attitude to ask when u dun understand. But for every word comes along with some stories that diverts the lesson to some other things. Crap!!! Boring Boring....

With Wei Cai, a friend in college, we walked to 3K to play badminton under our badminton club. With some really chun fellas there, I was rather challenged to win but i lost. lolz. Leaving the area bout 7.00 pm(the badminton playing time will end at 7.30pm), WALKED back to summit, gave a call to my mom to fetch me up from Giant. It was pretty exhausting. Anyway, went to caregroup after that. Wooo, this is where the fun part is, for me la. I enjoyed it a lot. Food for that day was roti canai with mee hoon and chicken nuggets(drumstick type). Too bad the nuggets were cold and soft. Haha someone forgot to uncover the plastic wraping.

Later then, I when back and mapled. Wanna level up. Haihz it feels boring doing that. Only enjoyed playing around and kill new monsters. Anyhow, sorry for the layout in this blog. Kinda lazy to fix it liao. Cant solve the bladdy cursor problem and pictures unavailable due to the state of 'NO CAMERA' and the profile being wrapped up only half of the space allocated. haha and probably the boring background. Haihz.

Bladdy unlucky day

2006-01-17T14:27:00.000+08:00

I seriously cant take this day if it ever repeats. I even almost blow up myself for this. Erm, kinda my fault too, actually.

I was watching this old show, 'Once upon a time in China' on TV3 last night till 1 am. If everything was normal, no problem should appear according to what I presumed. Next morning, the beginning of a tragic day for me. I woke extremely late, that is at 6.50 - the time I leave house for my college. My usual time for waking up is at 5.30 am, ya I know what you're thinking. So, this would be my first day for waking up late.

Ok, waking up late isn't a big deal for me. But, it is to my parents. My father was late for his work, my mom is late for his work too. And this stirs up the anger in my mom rushing here and there as well as scolding me with every word that she spoke to me. I left house at 7 am. So, as you can tell, I only clean up, dress up pack my bag, and get my things ready in 10 minutes. I didn't know I was capable of that too, but of course, I had pack up things I do not need and things I needed was left out.

Rushing all the way, with my mom shouting here and there. I went in the car with a troubled heart feeling I have left something. You'll probably laugh at this. While wearing my socks on the left leg, I realised that I only brought out one sock. Too bad, I can turn back to get the other resulting me to wear only one sock the whole morning and afternoon. Kinda sleepy in the car, I slept while reaching my destination. Reaching there I walk into my college. True enough, I left my ID card at home, moreover, that unlucky day, the first day, that bladdy lazy guard did a check and ask for my ID. Being scolded by him which I ignore, I started to guess what other stupid mistake I was going to make after that.

I reached exactly on time for class. I went in the class and took a sit. Feeling kinda funny that this wasn't my classmates, I cant care much, I was pretty tired as well. After resting a while, I saw a malay teacher came in. Thinking to myself, crap, what now have I done. I asked to the person in front of me, "what class is this?". He replied moral studies. Lolz, I am not really likely to curse out, f*** , but I guess this time I did. I was so sick of being unlucky the whole day with every word I heard since morning is a scolding to me. I walked out and when to my correct class.

English class, it was, damn boring, I even felt like playing truant though that 2 hours of class worth a huge amount of money. My eyes were as heavy as lifting up a car. Thank God break time comes and I rush to the toilet to wet my face. Didn't really worked well. I felt sleepy after my face dried out.

Break time for two hours, had a huge lunch with the cost of Rm 3 only(compared to outside, it'll probably cost RM5-6). Had some sleep, so that I wouldn't be so sleepy in the next class. How unlucky too, my fren's break time change, and I had to eat all alone. Crap man, I damn hate this day.

At least, the computer class wasn't boring. Not really much of enjoyment but I didn't had the urge to sleep. Finishing class, I gave a call to my mom, calling her to give me a lift. I waited patiently at the bus stop. She reached there but I didn't noticed her. On that time, I was hearing my mp3 player, my saviour from boredom. She claimed that she was horning the car and shouting her voice out. On my side, I realised nothing and heard nothing. Another scolding and lecturing from mom again in the car. CRAP MAN.

I reached home with a sigh of relieve. I guess you probably laugh throughout reading. Go ahead but I am bladdy pissed with today.

I am also feeling super sick and I kinda bored with medicine I am using to relieve my pain and be able to do my things. I seriously don't know how to live like this. Sometimes, I just feel like giving up, but it is not a way for me. All this hurt will continue till something is done or happen.

Awful day

2006-01-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

What an awful day... I had a an early sleep if u would consider before 3 am is early. Infact, really early. I slept at 12.30 am .. erm really early for me. But, due to college I have to sleep at 12am everyday. No other choice. Anyways, that sleep was rather not enough to support the two nites before that had so lil sleep, probably 4 hours and below. I woke up at 5.40 am today and feeling rather heavy to move. I took my breakfast, and thought it would at least keep me awake for the next 2 - 3 hours. Nah, it failed.

Unfortunately, I reached college exceptionally early today, because it was school holidays for my brothers. This means my mom doesn't have to send my youngest brother to school and straight heading for my college. Reaching there super early, I tried to finish up my homework which was due that day. Lolz, I know, last minute. Seems to be the habit picked up from my secondary culture.

Attending the first class rather tired, I tried to keep my heavy eyelids open. Man, it was lifting a crane. There was only 6 in my class and I doubt that the teacher didn't notice me. I couldn't do a thing. My eyelids were just too heavy to be lifted up. After an hour, there is a break for at least 10 minutes. My am I relieved. When straight to the canteen to get some sweets. And then, later to the toilet to wash my face. Back in class, at least something that requires my mind to think and solve some crossword puzzles regarding computers. Lolz, thanks to the sweet, keep me rather awake. And, of course some credit to the sweet, MENTOS, the freshmaker, lolz.

Second class was just right after the first one. It was engineering mathematics. Cool, I thought, a subject that could keep my mind thinking and my hands moving. That was what I thought. In the class, I suddenly realised a bad thing. My homework wasn't finish. Tried to cover up and moreover, I was sitting right in front of the lecturer. Thanks to the sweet again that kept me awake while the lecturer was talking. Exercise time, another bad thing came to reality. I forgot to bring my notes, which include the exercises. Thank God, my lecturer wasn't angry. And for your info, one class is 2 hours, so imagine how much and how hard I tried keeping myself awake.

Break time, spend bout 10 minutes eating and the rest sleeping. My break was also 2 hours. I thought to myself that it might just help me to last my time being awake for the last class at 2 to 4 pm. Yupz, it worked a little. Had some horrifying, large mouthed yawn that I covered. lolz.

Reaching home, had an hour of Narnia, that my bro was watching and then a long sleep till 9 pm. Now I am rather awake. Probably, be playing a while and then do some homework. With the hurts still in my heart, I felt so worthless, today. Pain undescribable full of sorrow from within, and without a choice but to continue.

Anyways, thats all for now.

1st and 2nd day of college

2006-01-04T22:44:00.000+08:00

It seems college can be boring at times and can be real fun on the other hand. My first day in college wasn't really what I expected. It was technical english subject that time and was rather boring to me. Lecturer was talking and talking about the course structure. Simply repeating F5 syllabus like grammar, tenses, clauses, paragraph writing, essay writing, report writing and so on. Only some additional like resume and job search are added and also learning of scientific terms needed in my course.

Had 2 hours break after that. Food there aren't cheap. As I am trying to save money, I pop in to one of the chinese restaurant and ate 'chap fan' . I got myself an egg , 2 pieces luncheon meat and some 'fu chuk' and meat with gravy. Rice wasn't that much as well, and believe it cost me RM 3.80, not a very reasonable price looking at the amount of food I took.

Boring enough for a first-timer if u hadn't got any friends with you in the college. Yeap, most of them in taylors, some haven't started their course yet. Really boring.

Alritez, enough for the first day, it probably be boring reading on. Today, not really wonderful though too. But, at least lesson started and I had some fun. Learning something is always better than sitting down doing nothing. Agree? lolz

Well, today, class shifted again due to enrollment reasons. I walked all the way to the other block for my class. This class is erm, how should I put it? boring ? cool ?I don't know because it is malaysian studies but the teachers rather entertaining. Malaysian studies, wonder what is it ? It is actually HISTORY OF MALAYSIA, and something I dislike at all. First day, and here comes an assignment. bring 5% of the overall examination. Haihz, boring. At least I am lucky to have a good lecturer.

Breaktime, when to get my account for xerox printing and later finding out it is only for printing service. Photostating requires another card from the library. Crap, no choice but to get the the card and photostat BY MYSELF, another unexpected thing. I really thought they would photostat for me. Lolz, with the same price, I would rather go to the photostat nearby my area for the service which they do it for me. Lolz, you can take it as - 'you're lazy' haha.
Next, Basic Engineering Technology. Now, this is something fun to learn. It is totally like physics and it's application.(For those physics lovers) Haha, not exactly that I like studying, but this is the one of the few subjects I like other than the rest. For now, is review of the F5 topics and first formula of the day :

I(A) = Q(kulom) - lolz, is actually coulomb, a unit measurement. Juz that my lecturer pronounces it that way. T(s)

Finishing at 1.50, I went out to make a phone call to tell my mom to give me a lift home. Waiting patiently at the guard house, I meet Sarah, Geok Leng and Vivian. They are from taylors. Haihz. Meet Elvin in Taylors. Meet one of the scout formally from SMSJ(sry, forgot ur name) in Taylors as well, doing ADP programme and also and old friend Chiew Nee and Su Ann( they probably don't recognize me at all)

Yupz, I guess thats all for today.

Tomoro, first day of college

2006-01-02T22:35:00.000+08:00

Woahhhh... I had a long sleep today. A really long one if u would ask, from 3 am(I tried to slept early) till 3 in the afternoon. And later, from 8 pm till 10 pm. More than half a day sleep. And I probably did nothing useful throughout the day.

Sigh, tomoro is my first day of college. What an uneasy thing to hear. I wish I had more time to play and probably work for money and all. Too bad. But, after hearing much advice, especially from older youths, my seniors and parents, it's probably not too bad starting early, just that I'll be missing lots of fun with friends who are not starting their college yet.

I don't think I am really prepared for college life. I mean like tommorow is college, and all I got ready in my bag is nothing except a pencil box and a notebook, and a file which contains most of the information on the college.
No textbook, no exercise books, no study materials whatsoever. Erm for your info, it's my first semester in college.

Sienzz, I don't know whether I am correct about all this. Did I miss out something important, did I forget what I am suppose to bring.. seems to be the question playing in my mind frequently. Argh, boring....

But I guess it'll be fun tomoro as the first day of college. Feel free to post any comments on your first day experiance in college. Hehe

New Year... Haihz

2006-01-01T01:04:00.000+08:00

Not quite a new year I had, kinda boring and dull. All my friends, each of them busy with their own plans. Some with families, some going elsewhere where I cant go due to transport problems. I thought of following my fellow classmates, Clement, Andy and others. Haihz, but too bad, my parents kinda made plans for the night. It was fun though to enjoy with parents, but as the clock strike 12, lolz it seems as though nothing had happen. Tried msging some ppl but they were kinda bz too. Haihz

New Year resolution, looks like I had it every year, but so far only, one fulfilled - getting a mp3 player. Others seems to be brought forward year by year. Argh, I feel stuck here even today, New Year Day.

Well, then again, for this year, I wish to get several things, but nonetheless, hard to fulfilled :
1. An electric guitar
2. Personal computer
3. Handphone
4. A digital camera
5. meilleur ami(understand if u can)
6. A better looks, haha
7. Personal matter(probably can never have)

Lolz, some of those were juz my imaginations. But, I really wish I could get those I wish for. What a pity. I had to start college soon. It is super early for me as it begins in 3 Jan making me miss my Langkawi trip. Sob Sob. I believe life would be better in the comin year as I begin my college life.

And just one more thing to my friends, all that u have read are to kept confidential to yourself only. K so long for now.

'Packing up'

2005-12-31T10:37:00.000+08:00

An early morning, hardly enough sleep, about 6.30 am, I was awaken by a call from Clement. It's not a disturbance but I told him to do so. Ya, I was suppose to wake up by then and get ready to go for breakfast together. Kinda like 'reunion' dinner and also to see ryuibynn one last time before he leaves for NS(national service). It was a great breakfast despite the tiredness and lack of sleep that could be seen in everyone's face.

For me, I hardly sleep too. I slept at 3.30am in the morning and work up at 6.30am today. Great, huh? This shows how holidays can affect your routine. Anyways, I went back and started to pack up my things. Sort of tidy them. Not to go anywhere but to keep my place cleaner.

So there goes my packing. Sometimes is good to this, I feel, I get to view back all my past memories. Nice. Seeing some pictures from the past and looking what I am now is really a big difference. Haha, and I realise I keep lots of junk. Other than that, would be presents from various type of ppl. Yupz I do keep presents send by others and I have presents 5 yrs ago too. Lolz, loyal huh? haha.

Alritez thats all for now. Wanna maple a lil while..

Good mood for the day

2005-12-28T17:38:00.000+08:00

Lolz, I am in a super duper good mood today. Though morning wasn't really a pleasant time for me. I gotta get up early enrol in the college, and, I was 2 hours late. Anyway, the college wasn't close yet and I enrolled in. After that my mom went to a wet market nearby. (SS15) Not really a nice place I would say, people day live by what they earn that day, and there was this guy who keeps singing a song. Not to insult him, he doesn't have any talent in singing. The 'sweet smelling' aroma flows through my body and kinda give me a chill.

My mom later went to Asia Cafe nearby to buy me and my brothers lunch. It was a filling one. I was on the com while eating and mapling. Yeap, I accompany my friend in the game. Unfortunately, she left even before we reached our training area. Sighed.

Being alone in the game, which I don't want to, I quit and continue on doing my blog. This time I managed to do a 100% copy of a javascript. If your wondering which one, is the cursor. Man I love it. Though it may seems nothing, but it is a great accomplishment to me. And if you think is simple, I strongly disagree, it was damn hard. I am a begineer if you think I am a pro at this. haha

Prefectly, great. I am starting to enjoy doing html work. Lolz. Sighed, to bad I would be starting college soon. My time to go online would soon be lesser and lesser depending on the amount of work I gotta do.

At least something's done today

2005-12-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

What a day... Woke up late again at 10.50, I think, sat down at the couch and watch ninja turtles, that my brothers were also watching. Finishes at 11 am. I decided to go online. Did some changes to my blog header. Crap, html or CSS, whatever you called it, it is not easy at all. Finally, done at 1.30 I think. In between, my mom was in a bad mood, scolding me and my youngest brother, Daniel to do this and that. Fortunately, my other brother, Filbert slept, and escaped the chores.

About 2 pm while chatting with Andy(one of the jokers) and an old friend, Chan Fei Yi, I cooked my own lunch. It was only maggi mee and nothing special. I am not a good cook anyway. I hung up the curtain before that(one of the chores). It shows that I am not lousy at all at chores. Whaha.

After that, had some chat with Chee Hee, a super genius especially in Chemistry. Man, his answer are better than my own teacher(to me) . He is my main referral in school. Well, we chat about our after-school course. He plan to be a pharmacist(I think I got it wrong) and was shocked with his amount of fees to pay. Well, I, on the other hand, got my things plan out, fine, I guess. I will be studying in Inti College Subang Jaya, taking up electrical and electronic engineering(EEE). To be recognised as a an engineer from the IEM(dunno wat it stands for) is either I do my diploma and degree(4 1/2 yrs) with 2 yrs in aus will cost me 230+k , but if locally will only cost me 88k, if i am not mistaken, with a masters as well in hand. I hope to do well and get scholarship.

Later, I gave my youngest brother some BM exercises to be done. He is really weak in this subject and seems to decline after school. Must be the holidays that made him play till he forgot all his studies. Truly, he has been worse in his studies.

I went cycling later in the evening. Summit was my first destination. I needed to buy some envelope required to apply some scholarships. After that, I cycle all the way to Glad Sounds to get my mom's Christmas present. She commented that it was a waste of money. =.='. I went to the court 8 basketball court watching some friends play basketball while enjoying the greens. lolz. When back and had my dinner and later spend time with my parents.

Hah , my day, seems a little boring.

A dreadful Sunday(Christmas)

2005-12-26T01:12:00.001+08:00

25 dec, marks my first dreadful sunday,moreover on Christmas Day.Looking at them makes the wound deeper and so much more painful being with them. I cant believe that I would feel this way after so long. I never thought that besides anger, this can hurt me too. I am feeling so stress up. I couldn't even make a move. I can't stop thinking of them and it hurts so much. Uncurable and continuous as it slowly kills me away.

Depression has snatch my appetite away. I had no appetite to eat even in my bbq party with my schoolmates. I really feel very depressed. How I wish I am free from that.

sighed, I guess enough of all my problems. I had a dreadful sunday morning. And later, in the evening, went to Jessica Loi's housing area for the bbq party. It was tremendous, just that I couldn't help myself of thinking of them. I hadn't eat till past 10.30 I guess. I had a fun time though later because of the humourous Shawn. Erm, thanks to him that I finally regainned my hunger for food and also a nice game. I guess that was a real fun time I had, and also thank God I had wonderful friends that cared about me .

And now here I am logging after the party. I wish not to suffer anymore. I hope to go overseas and forget all this sadness.

Christmas Eve

2005-12-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

24 december, Christmas eve, supposed to be a day of joy and unlimited praise to our Lord Jesus Christ. Yea, I did had my fun but a cut is painful, so much that I think life is meaningless. So much so that I was trouble whole evening till night by a confession that seems to slowly sawing my heart to two. Heartbroken seems to be a mild word for the wound. All night long with them around, I could feel the difficulty in breathing. I guess I am hopeless in this matter.

Now I realise that cut in the heart isn't easily healed. Words can bring so much damage. I don't think I can do anymore to change what will seem to happen.

Lolz, funny, I thought I would never get hurt anymore with my patience controlled since primary.

Juz one more advice to readers, pls keep this to yourself and don't simply tell others or giv this site to others

Christmas RoCk CoNcErT

2005-12-19T12:32:00.000+08:00

It was a totally wondrous night yesterday. After church in the morning, I went back with my parents. It was about 2 in the afternoon. Decided to online and play some games while waiting for the time to fly by till 6.00, the time I had my dinner, a light dinner as I wasn't really hungry that time.

Funny I wasn't really hungry the whole day. I had a small packet of nasi lemak and also mee hoon with a cup of coke. Juz like a lunch meal. Lunchtime wasn't really lunch as I juz ate a few sticks of french fries. For dinner, my plate wasn't even full when I ate. Lolz funny. This may seems normal to many of you but I actually eat a lot especially during dinner and breakfast.

Anyways, back to the topic. At 6.30, I finally left for the concert. Reaching my church at about 7 pm, I happily walk in my church. A number of people were already there practising diligently for the night. Since it was actually early for me, I help out around in shifting and arranging the new chairs in my church. Ya, new chairs, a cinema-like chairs that gives an atmosphere just like in the cinema. Watching the bands practise and also the 'tongs', it was pretty exciting though. At 8 pm sharp, doors open and the people were allowed to come in. I was on Praise Team, a group of people on stage besides the musicians and singers. A problem appeared, we were lacking members realising that they was only 3 people there. Well, as soon as the people were in more people went up to the Praise Team. So goes on the concert.

Oh ya many on the Praise Team were actually conned, in a way because they didn't know that they have to stand the whole nite.

Concert was extremely great beyond words. First few songs, I was energetic enough to jump along and cheer and move . But later, I am almost dead exhausted. A dance was performed that night. Man, it was one of the best dance of the year. *winks* Being on Praise Team is really tiring, considering the amount of praise songs(active songs require jumping). The band also played very well, the pianist by Li Huay and Sarah, awesome guitarist by Kevin, and the pro Wei Luen on bass. Not to mention the drummers too, Jia Wei, a young but talented drummer. haha. Perfectly cool.

In conclusion, it was truly great, seriously , if but if you think you miss it, nah it was juz the beginning of Christmas. There will be a 'Lion King' preformance exactly next week on the saturday.